Making the most of Lent by relying on God's plans

           Its Lent- solidly the middle of Lent- and I guess maybe my chosen sacrifices were not quite enough to really advance my relationship with God to a place of deeper appreciation, love, trust, dependence…. But, God is always willing to help me out.   His call to greater things always seems to include lots of opportunities to practice them.

            I pray for more patience- God obliges with heavy traffic, over tired kids, the phone ringing off the hook while I am trying to work through difficult math concepts with my not very mathematical 4th grader.  Voila- instant opportunity to practice patience!

            So its Lent and I know that Lent is really about growing closer to Christ.  But, even with my very intentional Lenten undertakings- there are obstacles to holiness in my life.  I still struggle to really put Christ at the center of my life and to trust completely.  

            God is blessing me with a lot of supernatural help.  

First, our computer got a virus last week.  Too much time on the internet?  The computer distracting me from serving God more faithfully?  He’s got a solution for that! 

Now, as far as viruses go, we were very lucky.  It did not wipe out our computer’s entire memory.  I did not lose the pictures from Christmas or my children’s birthdays that were not backed up on a disc yet.   And I was still able to access the internet - sort of.  But the computer was not quite right and every time I started to do something on it, it would start to act up.  Tim worked on it a lot over the weekend and the virus is apparently gone but the computer is still not back to normal yet.   But, I have spent a lot less time on it lately.

Then (and this one I knew was coming, of course) Tim resigned his position as youth minister at our parish.  He has been a youth minister for nearly five years, but the last two years it has been his part time job, which he has done in addition to a full time job (and taking online courses to get his master’s degree).  He and I have talked about it a lot this year and prayed about it a lot.  Together we discerned that it was time to move on from youth ministry.  

Ministry is such a rewarding endeavor but when it becomes nearly impossible to put your whole heart and soul into it, the challenges can start to affect your ability to do it well.  Ministry should never be just another thing to fit into the schedule.  It should be something you devote all your time and energy to.  That is not an option for Tim anymore.   So we knew it was time and this was best.

            But, that means we have gone from three sources of income (between Tim’s two jobs and my one) to just one in a matter of three months.  There is no way we can NOT feel the financial crunch and we are not quite sure how we will manage the budget now.  

            Having trouble trusting in God?  Feeling like I have everything under control and can handle it on my own?  God can fix that too!  

            Lent is an opportunity to turn back to God and to listen more closely to Him.  I am trying a little harder today to do just that…because HE’S the One who has it all under control…….  

My mountaintop views

           

           I’ve been reading other people’s blogs today.  Not the ones I usually read- written by other Catholic moms much like me- but blogs by women who have no children, who have lives filled with exciting worldly adventures that are nothing like my quiet domestic existence.  

I usually stick with blogs I know and bloggers I can relate to.  But once in a while, it is fun to get a peek into other people’s realities.  Realities that include rock climbing and spontaneous moves across the country and whirlwind romances that culminate in dramatic marriage proposals.  This is what I love about reading-- both fiction and blogs.  Reading opens doors that nothing else can in life.  It teaches us so much about others and about ourselves, and about how we are all so different and yet all so very, very alike too.

Getting little peeks into other people’s lives also reminds me that I really love my own quiet domestic life.  I love my little adventures—like the trip to the library with my kids this morning.  What could be more adventurous than going into a peaceful library full of retirees on a Thursday morning with five energetic children along?  It may not come with breath taking views or life changing decisions but its adventure just the same.   

Then coming home (with dozens of new books to delve into later) to get some lunch for the five energetic children?  Its an adventure, I assure you!  Picture an ordinary suburban kitchen bustling with hungry kids all grabbing for the peanut butter jar and fighting over the bag of chex mix.  Who needs a mountaintop view?  Other people may have some pretty spectacular experiences in their exciting adventurous lives.  But, I’ll take the view of my children’s sticky peanut buttery faces smiling at me with love over mountaintops any day.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jocelynmarie/6094784902/">Jocelyn Catterson</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

A decade of fun!

            Today we celebrate a joyous event at our house!  Today, my middle child--the little girl who looks most like me, who is my most sensitive, most social, hardest-working, and a marvelously imaginative child-- is ten years old.  As I think about this milestone (I now have more children in the “double digits” than the single ones!), I can’t help but think about what life was like when I brought my second baby girl home from the hospital a decade ago…..  

The day we brought our third baby home-- big sister and big brother watch over her

             She came home to a big sister who was 4 years old and a big brother who was just a year and a half.  My life was very full and very busy!  Every day was a challenge that included juggling two little ones in diapers, nap times and sleep schedules that were never consistent, and demands of a pre-schooler, a (very active) toddler, and a newborn that seemed never to end.  But our third child just added more love and more joy to the happy chaos we were already accustomed to.  

I remember being asked, quite often back then, which transition was hardest to adjust to- the first child, the second, or the third.  It was not a difficult question.  For me, without a doubt, going from no children to one child was infinitely more difficult than any other adjustment in my life- ever.  In fact, I recently found an old journal I kept when my first child was just a few weeks old.  As I read my own words, I was struck by how hard the struggle was to find peace in my imperfect mothering.  I wanted so much to feel confident and to truly master the art of parenting.  The old journal made it all come rushing back and I wished I could tell that young new mother that I once was—to relax, trust in herself and just enjoy all that motherhood had to offer.  

Thankfully, by the time I welcomed my third beautiful baby, I had learned a lot.  I was much more relaxed, much more trusting in myself, and much, much better at laughing at and enjoying the ups and downs of motherhood.   

And, now, all these years later, I have learned that you NEVER really master this parenting stuff….but motherhood is an adventure that is **almost** all fun!        

****almost—which means, whenever I remember to relax, trust, laugh, and enjoy the happy chaos****