It has been a lot of years since I last wrote a letter to Santa Claus but this year I think I may do just that. My letter this year will not be like the letters of my childhood, which included long lists of toys and presents I hoped to receive and, of course, my assurance that I had been good enough to deserve them! No, this letter will be a little different.
I suppose I should explain a little. You see, my family is blessed enough to have found the real Santa Claus and to have been photographed with him for the past 12 Christmases. Now I know the real Santa is very busy this time of year but somehow he has found a little time to sneak away from the North Pole to visit sunny Florida. He comes to an upscale shopping district in Tampa, FL known as Hyde Park Village. It is about 45 minutes from our house and we discovered he was there when our oldest child was only three months old. He is real in every way possible. He has real round cheeks, a real round belly, real white curly hair, and a real long white beard. His clothes are not the traditional red suit with a big black belt and big black boots. Instead, he wears a Victorian style long flowing robe , in a deep shade of crimson and lined with fur. He looks exactly like I picture St. Nicholas would look. Everything about him is authentic and beautiful. He smiles cheerily when greeting the children and spends time with each of them. He is genuinely interested in making them feel special. Every year it is one of our most special traditions to make the 45 minute drive to spend just a few minutes with this wonderful man. And every year he is there. Every year we have seen him. Every year we have sat our children on his lap and had them photographed. Every year they have shared with him their hopes and wishes (except, of course, that year or two when each of them were toddlers and terrified to even get near him!) Every year, for the past twelve years, it has been the same man with the same real white beard and infectious smile.
Last year, because he has been so special to us and such a part of our Christmas traditions, I brought along a scrapbook album I have been keeping of just our Santa Claus pictures. Imagine his surprise as he flipped through the book and saw our children, and our family, grow and seeing that he has been such a special part of it all. He was so impressed with the album and had us show it to Mrs. Claus, who was, thankfully, along that afternoon. We talked for a few extra minutes last year just to let him know how much he means to us.
This year, as all seven of us filed into the tiny store front where his big red chair was set up, his eyes lit up in recognition. We all squeezed in for our photograph and the children proceeded to give him their lists. Then he looked at Tim and I, with real tears glistening in the corners of his eyes and told us how special it is to him that we come back every year to see him. He told us we are the only family that he has seen every year and that it means so much to him to see us and watch the children grow. He, then, turned to our oldest daughter, the now tall and lanky eleven year old who first sat on his lap as a tiny bald baby, he took her hands in his and thanked her for coming. His eyes, still moist, looked into hers and he encouraged her to keep believing.
Now, I know that the tradition of Santa Claus is not the holiest way to celebrate the birth of our Lord but I can assure you the spirit of Christmas was never more alive than in that tiny little store front as we shared a few minutes with that beautiful man. He truly made us feel special and I believe we did the same for him. We shared the love of Christ and the joy of the season just by sharing our true gratitude and love for each other.
As it turns out, Santa has a business card. We picked it up and were happy to see he has a local address, only about 45 minutes from the shopping district (in the opposite direction of us). So, I think I may write him a quick letter to really thank him for all that he means to us, to tell him he is in our prayers, and to wish him the very merriest of Christmases. I pray, also, that all of you reading this may be as blessed as we are to truly know the love of Christ, the generosity of others and the joy of the season this year.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
My Never-Ending To Do List
Every morning I wake up with a long list of things to do. Every night I go to sleep with an even longer list for the next day. My to do list includes all the necessary things to keep my house running smoothly, such as laundry, mopping the floor, cleaning the bathrooms, grading papers, etc.... I just never seem to get to most of the things on the to do list (though obviously, and amazingly, I did sneak in some time to write this blog. It was written in 3 minute increments over the course of several hours and at least, partially one-handed while nursing the baby, but it did get written!).
The reasons for my lack of productivity are almost as long as my ever-growing list. The main one I suppose is that I am never as disciplined or organized as I should be. Lately, though it is not all my fault. Lately, I seem to spend at least half my time walking around the house singing to the baby, who has been quite fussy the past few days. The baby who is the youngest of five children, is so cute, so sweet, and these days, so demanding! She wants to be held and she does not nap. Now, I cannot complain about sleep because she is pretty much sleeping through the night, which for a child of mine is unheard of at 3 1/2 months old but it would be nice if she would at least snooze for a few minutes during the day.
So, my days lately have consisted of walking a lot of laps around my way-too-messy house with a sometimes cranky, always very snuggly baby, and feeling stressed about all the housework that isn't getting done. As I traipse through the kitchen, singing "Kookaburra" I notice sticky spots on the floor, fifteen cups, all of them half full, on the table, and ungraded spelling tests and math worksheets on the counter... As I move onto the family room, and sing the theme song for "Elmo's World", I take note of the throw pillows all on the floor, legos scattered literally everywhere, and four pairs of shoes and socks kicked off in front of the couch. I can feel my blood pressure rise as I start to sing the alphabet and the baby can obviously tell that it is not meant to be sung through gritted teeth because she starts to fuss all the more. Ahh, the blessing of motherhood.
Today, it finally pushed me right to the edge, which is obviously right where God wanted me to be, because I just decided to surrender. I finally realized that though I had a list a mile long of things I thought should get done, God's list consisted of just one thing, that one thing was just what I was already doing. I looked at the baby and declared out loud, "Okay you win! I guess God doesn't care if I fold the laundry or write out my Christmas cards. I guess His plan for my day is to walk around the house and snuggle with you!"
I am not kidding when I tell you she stopped fussing almost immediately. Maybe this is proof that, as I have suspected all along, she is spoiled rotten and just wanted to know she was going to get her way, or maybe it was because God could see that I had finally learned my lesson, at least for today. My agenda should always be to serve God and do the work He has placed in front of me. It is not easy for me to lay aside my plans but when I do my home is more pleasant and peaceful for everyone in it. And the laundry will still be there to fold tomorrow....
The reasons for my lack of productivity are almost as long as my ever-growing list. The main one I suppose is that I am never as disciplined or organized as I should be. Lately, though it is not all my fault. Lately, I seem to spend at least half my time walking around the house singing to the baby, who has been quite fussy the past few days. The baby who is the youngest of five children, is so cute, so sweet, and these days, so demanding! She wants to be held and she does not nap. Now, I cannot complain about sleep because she is pretty much sleeping through the night, which for a child of mine is unheard of at 3 1/2 months old but it would be nice if she would at least snooze for a few minutes during the day.
So, my days lately have consisted of walking a lot of laps around my way-too-messy house with a sometimes cranky, always very snuggly baby, and feeling stressed about all the housework that isn't getting done. As I traipse through the kitchen, singing "Kookaburra" I notice sticky spots on the floor, fifteen cups, all of them half full, on the table, and ungraded spelling tests and math worksheets on the counter... As I move onto the family room, and sing the theme song for "Elmo's World", I take note of the throw pillows all on the floor, legos scattered literally everywhere, and four pairs of shoes and socks kicked off in front of the couch. I can feel my blood pressure rise as I start to sing the alphabet and the baby can obviously tell that it is not meant to be sung through gritted teeth because she starts to fuss all the more. Ahh, the blessing of motherhood.
Today, it finally pushed me right to the edge, which is obviously right where God wanted me to be, because I just decided to surrender. I finally realized that though I had a list a mile long of things I thought should get done, God's list consisted of just one thing, that one thing was just what I was already doing. I looked at the baby and declared out loud, "Okay you win! I guess God doesn't care if I fold the laundry or write out my Christmas cards. I guess His plan for my day is to walk around the house and snuggle with you!"
I am not kidding when I tell you she stopped fussing almost immediately. Maybe this is proof that, as I have suspected all along, she is spoiled rotten and just wanted to know she was going to get her way, or maybe it was because God could see that I had finally learned my lesson, at least for today. My agenda should always be to serve God and do the work He has placed in front of me. It is not easy for me to lay aside my plans but when I do my home is more pleasant and peaceful for everyone in it. And the laundry will still be there to fold tomorrow....
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
All are welcome, the tall and the small
I love the whole Christmas season. I love the time of Advent as we prepare for the birth of Jesus and the many opportunities it provides to spend time together with family and friends.
Several years ago a Protestant friend of mine invited my children and me to join her at her church for a Christmas concert the choir was putting on. Though, my friend had never before attended the annual Christmas concert at her church she had heard that it was a very family friendly event. It sounded like a wonderful evening and I gladly accepted. At the time, she and I had two children each and they were all toddlers. So with the four kids in tow we entered the church to find that we were the only ones with children at the event. Still, being a cradle Catholic and used to having children, sometimes lots of children, around during any and all church functions I did not think much of it. The Pastor's wife apparently did. It seems at their church children were not a part of their worship time. Children went to Sunday school during their church services and this concert was, in fact, not really a family event after all. The adults who had gathered to listen to the beautiful Christmas music were not expecting to have four giggling, screeching children as the background singers. We were encouraged, within minutes of our arrival, to please put our children in the nursery. We dutifully gathered them up and set off only to find the nursery room dark and locked up with no nursery attendant anywhere to be found. After letting the children run around on the church walkways for a little while we put them back into their car seats and set off for home. Though I could certainly understand that the concert was much more enjoyable without the children there, I remember thinking how sad it was that the kids were not welcome in the church.
This past Sunday our own church announced that they would be having an Advent prayer service followed by a pot luck dinner on Dec. 1st. It sounded so wonderful, as I had been really hoping to have a spirit filled, prayerful time of preparation for Christmas this year. Of course, Tim and I now have five children of our own and though they are not all toddlers, they are very energetic and full of youthful exuberance. In contrast, our parish, being in Florida after all, is primarily retirees and elderly people. We realized and fully expected that if we attended, Tim and I were likely to be younger than all the other worshipers. Still we really wanted to go and share in the prayer time and furthermore, we wanted to participate as a family. And so, despite our reservations, we packed the children up and set off, optimistically toting our steaming hot pot luck dish along with us. Before going into the church, we dropped off our pot luck offering in the parish hall which had several elderly people milling around. Our boys, who are 4 and 8 years old, immediately started to run, weaving between the tables which were beautifully decorated in purple tablecloths with candles glowing in the centers. So far, it wasn't looking like it was going to be the peaceful, prayerful evening I was hoping for. Nevertheless we went into the church which was dark, quiet and filled with the scent of burning incense. We took a seat not far from the cry room, anticipating that we would end up there in short order. As I looked around the church I noted that we were one of only a few families there, and the only one with five small children along. Almost immediately a women got up and approached me from the end of our pew. "My name is Sister Deborah," she said, " I just want to let you know that if your baby fusses do not worry about leaving, it is music to God's ears."
Now, I probably don't have to even tell you how the rest of the evening went. My heart was filled with such joy to be so blessed to be a part of the Catholic church, a church that encourages big families and supports and welcomes us all. The children, though not perfect, were fairly well behaved and the baby made only happy little cooing sounds but I suspect I would have enjoyed the evening just as much had they been less than pleasant. I appreciated the fact that we were all there together and that each and every one of us was welcome there. I could feel that our beautiful Church was overflowing with the love of Christ, alive in the tabernacle and in hearts of all those around us. What better way to celebrate this joyous time of year.
Several years ago a Protestant friend of mine invited my children and me to join her at her church for a Christmas concert the choir was putting on. Though, my friend had never before attended the annual Christmas concert at her church she had heard that it was a very family friendly event. It sounded like a wonderful evening and I gladly accepted. At the time, she and I had two children each and they were all toddlers. So with the four kids in tow we entered the church to find that we were the only ones with children at the event. Still, being a cradle Catholic and used to having children, sometimes lots of children, around during any and all church functions I did not think much of it. The Pastor's wife apparently did. It seems at their church children were not a part of their worship time. Children went to Sunday school during their church services and this concert was, in fact, not really a family event after all. The adults who had gathered to listen to the beautiful Christmas music were not expecting to have four giggling, screeching children as the background singers. We were encouraged, within minutes of our arrival, to please put our children in the nursery. We dutifully gathered them up and set off only to find the nursery room dark and locked up with no nursery attendant anywhere to be found. After letting the children run around on the church walkways for a little while we put them back into their car seats and set off for home. Though I could certainly understand that the concert was much more enjoyable without the children there, I remember thinking how sad it was that the kids were not welcome in the church.
This past Sunday our own church announced that they would be having an Advent prayer service followed by a pot luck dinner on Dec. 1st. It sounded so wonderful, as I had been really hoping to have a spirit filled, prayerful time of preparation for Christmas this year. Of course, Tim and I now have five children of our own and though they are not all toddlers, they are very energetic and full of youthful exuberance. In contrast, our parish, being in Florida after all, is primarily retirees and elderly people. We realized and fully expected that if we attended, Tim and I were likely to be younger than all the other worshipers. Still we really wanted to go and share in the prayer time and furthermore, we wanted to participate as a family. And so, despite our reservations, we packed the children up and set off, optimistically toting our steaming hot pot luck dish along with us. Before going into the church, we dropped off our pot luck offering in the parish hall which had several elderly people milling around. Our boys, who are 4 and 8 years old, immediately started to run, weaving between the tables which were beautifully decorated in purple tablecloths with candles glowing in the centers. So far, it wasn't looking like it was going to be the peaceful, prayerful evening I was hoping for. Nevertheless we went into the church which was dark, quiet and filled with the scent of burning incense. We took a seat not far from the cry room, anticipating that we would end up there in short order. As I looked around the church I noted that we were one of only a few families there, and the only one with five small children along. Almost immediately a women got up and approached me from the end of our pew. "My name is Sister Deborah," she said, " I just want to let you know that if your baby fusses do not worry about leaving, it is music to God's ears."
Now, I probably don't have to even tell you how the rest of the evening went. My heart was filled with such joy to be so blessed to be a part of the Catholic church, a church that encourages big families and supports and welcomes us all. The children, though not perfect, were fairly well behaved and the baby made only happy little cooing sounds but I suspect I would have enjoyed the evening just as much had they been less than pleasant. I appreciated the fact that we were all there together and that each and every one of us was welcome there. I could feel that our beautiful Church was overflowing with the love of Christ, alive in the tabernacle and in hearts of all those around us. What better way to celebrate this joyous time of year.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Thanking God for Fun
I have been trying to focus, this month, on all that I am grateful for. After the love, mercy, and guidance of God in my life, I am most thankful for my family. I am thankful not only to have my family, my husband and our five children, but especially for the family that we are and all the fun we have together.
I am grateful, first and foremost, that Tim and I are so close and that our marriage is a source of laughter and joy as well as companionship and cooperation. As a child, I used to love spending the night at friends' houses. It was so much fun to stay up late talking and goofing off together, giggling late into the night, and then waking up to do it all over again the next day. Obviously, marriage is not always like that but it is pretty wonderful to be married to my best friend. There are many nights Tim and I do stay up late talking and laughing. There are occasionally mornings, when we don't have to rush off to work, school or some appointment or errand, when we can start the day together talking and laughing some more. Even on our normal mornings when life is busy and we are just bustling around getting ready and juggling the preparations for the day at least we can do it together. Our marriage is far from perfect and we do get angry and frustrated with each other, as all couples do, but for the most part Tim and I truly enjoy spending time together, and that is something to be really grateful for!
Parenthood, like marriage, is not always fun and easy. In fact, many days it is an overwhelming task that leaves me exhausted or even frustrated, sometimes both. However, like my relationship with Tim, my time with my children is often marked by giggling and goofing off. Our family dinners, which in the past have been a source of stress, these days are filled with so much laughter and fun we often end up at the table for over an hour after the food is gone, just because we are enjoying the time together. The kids recently started initiating dinner time games, such as "I spy" and "20 questions". They have also added a few games of their own making into the mix, including one called "What's your answer?" that is pure nonsense, and one where we all must avoid saying words that begin with the letter "p". Tim and I enjoy these games as much as the kids do. It is not a time of meaningless fun, though it probably looks like that. Instead, I really believe having fun together and having our own family traditions strengthens our family bonds. I am grateful for the joy that fills my home and I pray these happy memories will stay with my children and serve to remind them that the love of family will always be there for them.
I am grateful, too, for the time we share in more serious moments. As a family, we talk about our feelings, our plans, and our beliefs all the time. We pray together throughout the day. We learn together throughout the day. We share so much more than just a house and bloodline. I feel so blessed not just to have a family, but to be a part of this family. I feel so blessed to share my life with each of my five children and my wonderful husband. I am so impressed with each of the members of my family and feel honored to spend my days surround by their love and goodness. And so this Thanksgiving, I will not only thank God for the gift of my family, I will thank Him for the blessing of the family we are.
I am grateful, first and foremost, that Tim and I are so close and that our marriage is a source of laughter and joy as well as companionship and cooperation. As a child, I used to love spending the night at friends' houses. It was so much fun to stay up late talking and goofing off together, giggling late into the night, and then waking up to do it all over again the next day. Obviously, marriage is not always like that but it is pretty wonderful to be married to my best friend. There are many nights Tim and I do stay up late talking and laughing. There are occasionally mornings, when we don't have to rush off to work, school or some appointment or errand, when we can start the day together talking and laughing some more. Even on our normal mornings when life is busy and we are just bustling around getting ready and juggling the preparations for the day at least we can do it together. Our marriage is far from perfect and we do get angry and frustrated with each other, as all couples do, but for the most part Tim and I truly enjoy spending time together, and that is something to be really grateful for!
Parenthood, like marriage, is not always fun and easy. In fact, many days it is an overwhelming task that leaves me exhausted or even frustrated, sometimes both. However, like my relationship with Tim, my time with my children is often marked by giggling and goofing off. Our family dinners, which in the past have been a source of stress, these days are filled with so much laughter and fun we often end up at the table for over an hour after the food is gone, just because we are enjoying the time together. The kids recently started initiating dinner time games, such as "I spy" and "20 questions". They have also added a few games of their own making into the mix, including one called "What's your answer?" that is pure nonsense, and one where we all must avoid saying words that begin with the letter "p". Tim and I enjoy these games as much as the kids do. It is not a time of meaningless fun, though it probably looks like that. Instead, I really believe having fun together and having our own family traditions strengthens our family bonds. I am grateful for the joy that fills my home and I pray these happy memories will stay with my children and serve to remind them that the love of family will always be there for them.
I am grateful, too, for the time we share in more serious moments. As a family, we talk about our feelings, our plans, and our beliefs all the time. We pray together throughout the day. We learn together throughout the day. We share so much more than just a house and bloodline. I feel so blessed not just to have a family, but to be a part of this family. I feel so blessed to share my life with each of my five children and my wonderful husband. I am so impressed with each of the members of my family and feel honored to spend my days surround by their love and goodness. And so this Thanksgiving, I will not only thank God for the gift of my family, I will thank Him for the blessing of the family we are.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Finding the extraordinary in my messy house
The weather has been gray and rainy for the past three days here. It is unusual in Florida to have too many days like this. Maybe it is because of the gloomy weather but lately I have been feeling a little bored and unfulfilled in my life. I feel like my life has been reduced to one monotonous day after another. I look forward to each day anticipating nothing more than whiny kids, a sink full of dishes, laundry and dirty diapers that never seem to end, and school work I cannot keep up with grading.
This morning, as I looked at my calendar, the day did not look much different than normal . Nevertheless, I dragged myself out of bed and as I did so I prayed that God would bless the day and help me to do my best to face the normal everyday challenges. Tim had the day off work for Veteran's Day and I would be spending my morning helping out in my son's pre-school classroom but the whiny kids, over abundance of dirty dishes and unending laundry would be the same. I was not feeling very energetic, or very grateful, as I went through the motions of yet another day of life as a stay-at-home mother. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my life... most of the time. I wouldn't want to be doing anything else and I know this is the path to holiness that God has chosen for me. I know all that but lately I have not been feeling it. I have not been feeling like my contribution to the world has much value, nor have I been feeling very motivated to do much more than just get through each day.
So today went along as usual. After a few loads of laundry, a little straightening up of the family room, and a long list of other equally exciting things I finally found a few minutes to lay down next to the baby as she napped on the couch. I laid there watching her sleep and wondering why my life has been feeling so boring and hollow lately. Tim was working on a puzzle, the kids were, amazingly, all playing nicely and quietly together, the house was peaceful and I had a rare moment to really think. It occurred to me that if life never had anything more to offer than this-- a husband who I love and who loves me, 5 healthy children, a roof over our heads, and our Catholic faith, it would be enough. This really is all that I ever wanted. No, it isn't glamorous. No, it doesn't always feel fulfilling, exciting, or important. No, I don't receive a lot of recognition for the things I do but this is my vocation. And, taking care of my family, taking care of my house, educating my children, well, these things are infinitely more important and meaningful than they may ever seem. Though I sometimes lose sight of it, these are the things I am most grateful for in life.
It is rare that I can take the time to step back and see my life as God sees it but this afternoon, as I watched my infant daughter sleep, I think I got a tiny little glimpse. This is just where God wants me to be. For it is in the ordinary-- a quiet afternoon at home, a peaceful sleeping baby, my less than perfect home and the normal everyday routine of caring for my family, --that I can find the extraordinary-- a glimpse of God's love and goodness, a moment of true peace and contentment, opportunities to serve- if only I remember to focus on God.
This morning, as I looked at my calendar, the day did not look much different than normal . Nevertheless, I dragged myself out of bed and as I did so I prayed that God would bless the day and help me to do my best to face the normal everyday challenges. Tim had the day off work for Veteran's Day and I would be spending my morning helping out in my son's pre-school classroom but the whiny kids, over abundance of dirty dishes and unending laundry would be the same. I was not feeling very energetic, or very grateful, as I went through the motions of yet another day of life as a stay-at-home mother. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my life... most of the time. I wouldn't want to be doing anything else and I know this is the path to holiness that God has chosen for me. I know all that but lately I have not been feeling it. I have not been feeling like my contribution to the world has much value, nor have I been feeling very motivated to do much more than just get through each day.
So today went along as usual. After a few loads of laundry, a little straightening up of the family room, and a long list of other equally exciting things I finally found a few minutes to lay down next to the baby as she napped on the couch. I laid there watching her sleep and wondering why my life has been feeling so boring and hollow lately. Tim was working on a puzzle, the kids were, amazingly, all playing nicely and quietly together, the house was peaceful and I had a rare moment to really think. It occurred to me that if life never had anything more to offer than this-- a husband who I love and who loves me, 5 healthy children, a roof over our heads, and our Catholic faith, it would be enough. This really is all that I ever wanted. No, it isn't glamorous. No, it doesn't always feel fulfilling, exciting, or important. No, I don't receive a lot of recognition for the things I do but this is my vocation. And, taking care of my family, taking care of my house, educating my children, well, these things are infinitely more important and meaningful than they may ever seem. Though I sometimes lose sight of it, these are the things I am most grateful for in life.
It is rare that I can take the time to step back and see my life as God sees it but this afternoon, as I watched my infant daughter sleep, I think I got a tiny little glimpse. This is just where God wants me to be. For it is in the ordinary-- a quiet afternoon at home, a peaceful sleeping baby, my less than perfect home and the normal everyday routine of caring for my family, --that I can find the extraordinary-- a glimpse of God's love and goodness, a moment of true peace and contentment, opportunities to serve- if only I remember to focus on God.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Blessings all around me
My children love decorating the house for holidays. They started talking about our Halloween decorations in late September and insisted on pulling them out right on October 1st. On November 1st, after a month of pumpkins and skeletons, the children were ready for new decor and so packed up the spooky embellishments in favor of cornucopias and turkeys. So now, surrounded by Thanksgiving reminders, my thoughts too turn from candy and costumes to all the things I am grateful for this year. I decided, in honor of the season, I would try to focus all my blogs this month on gratitude.
The first thing that comes to mind as I ponder what I am most thankful for is the bucket of Halloween candy and the cute pictures of my kids in their costumes. I am kidding (mostly, I mean I do appreciate chocolate in the house and the pictures of the kids all dressed up did turn out so, so cute!).
Actually I find myself thinking back to where I was in my life a year ago. At that time, Tim and I were seriously discussing whether or not to add to our family. It was a discussion that had literally been going on for more than a year. We talked about it, prayed about it and struggled to discern God's plan as well as our own desires, which seemed to fluctuate depending on our four children's behavior. As we agonized over the decision many things weighed heavily on my mind. I worried about our finances, the added challenge of another child, and the thought of another long pregnancy. Our conversations seemed to go in circles, one minute we greatly desired a baby and felt God calling us to have another child, the next we felt sure that was a crazy idea. Finally, we decided the only way to truly tell what God wanted was to trust in Him enough to put it completely in His hands. We threw away our NFP chart and prayed that God's will be done. It was only a few weeks later that God revealed His plan and we found out we would be welcoming baby #5. Despite my previous uncertainty and indecisiveness, as soon as I found out we were expecting I was instantly filled with overwhelming gratitude.
It was the weekend before Christmas that we found out about baby and we told our children on Christmas Eve. What a beautiful memory it is to think about sharing the news of our new baby as we celebrated the birth of baby Jesus. All the Mass readings that week spoke of rejoicing and blessings and that is how we felt. A few days later, I lost sight of rejoicing and I was instead filled with fear and worry about our unborn baby. After having four beautiful healthy children I started wondering if, perhaps we were asking too much to hope for another healthy baby. I was plagued by thoughts of all that could go wrong and almost expected that at any moment one of those things would come to pass. I spent the first trimester of my pregnancy in terror, losing sight of our prayer that God’s will be done and our decision to trust in Him. It was around the end of my first trimester that we announced my pregnancy to people outside our family. A friend, upon hearing the news, said to me, “Oh God must be so proud of you and Tim, trusting in Him and being so open to life.” Her statement was just what I needed to hear. It was true, we were cooperating with God in His plan, and He was blessing us for trusting in Him enough to be open to life.
And so, this Thanksgiving I will say a prayer of thanks to God for His plans, He always knows what is best for us even when we, try as we might, can’t seem to figure it out. I will remember to be thankful for good friends, who so often bring me closer to God and remind me to keep things in perspective. And, of course, I will be mindful of my greatest blessing, which now includes our five beautiful, healthy children, my family.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Getting honest about money
Money...no matter how much you have you can always use more, right? I consider myself sort of an expert on always needing more. Tim and I have never had much. We were still in college when we married, and neither of us had had much worldly success before we started our family. To be honest, by the standards of many people, we still have not had much worldly success! And, to be honest, we still don't have much money.
However, strange as it may sound, I honestly have never really worried or cared about money. Tim and I got married, bought our first little townhouse, and started our family all without much thought to whether we could afford it all or not. We had decided early on that I would not work when our children were young and so after our daughter was born I quit my job, again without really worrying about how we would make ends meet. I remember during those early years, having only about $20 dollars to live on after paying all the bills. Somehow or other, there was always food on the table, gas in our cars, and diapers for the baby though. Thankfully, our income has grown a little over the years. Of course, our family seems to have grown much, much faster and so we still live paycheck to paycheck, sometimes not sure how we will afford everything we need. Yet, still there is food on the table, gas in the cars, and diapers for the baby.
If I do not really worry or care about the size of our bank account, why, you may ask do I bother "blogging" about it? The truth is I know too many people who make their life decisions based on money and it makes me sad. I have friends and family who lose sleep over money. I know many people who are unhappy about the state of their lives and the choices they have made but feel they have no other option, because of money. I have heard too many stories of people who wish their life was different but feel they cannot change it, because of money. How many mother's claim they desperately want to be home with their children but can't, because of money?
On our limited income, Tim and I have had to do without a lot of things. Our children do not have all that their friends have because we cannot afford it all. I think, though, of all the people I know who struggle with too little money, Tim and I have had to sacrifice the least in life. We have not sacrificed time with our family. We have not sacrificed raising our children the way we think is right. We have not sacrificed our sense of peace because of money. And through it all God has provided.
Living within our means is getting harder. With five children, mounting medical bills, and a house that seems to be falling apart around us some days, a little more money would come in very handy. I do find myself wondering lately how God is going to rise to the challenge to provide for us now, yet He never lets us down. He provides for all that we need to live physically. And even more importantly, He provides us with peace and comfort if we just trust in Him and do what he has called us to do by putting our family first. I hope and pray that others, who are in a similar financial state, can learn to worry less, trust more, and follow God's plan even if it doesn't pay well.
However, strange as it may sound, I honestly have never really worried or cared about money. Tim and I got married, bought our first little townhouse, and started our family all without much thought to whether we could afford it all or not. We had decided early on that I would not work when our children were young and so after our daughter was born I quit my job, again without really worrying about how we would make ends meet. I remember during those early years, having only about $20 dollars to live on after paying all the bills. Somehow or other, there was always food on the table, gas in our cars, and diapers for the baby though. Thankfully, our income has grown a little over the years. Of course, our family seems to have grown much, much faster and so we still live paycheck to paycheck, sometimes not sure how we will afford everything we need. Yet, still there is food on the table, gas in the cars, and diapers for the baby.
If I do not really worry or care about the size of our bank account, why, you may ask do I bother "blogging" about it? The truth is I know too many people who make their life decisions based on money and it makes me sad. I have friends and family who lose sleep over money. I know many people who are unhappy about the state of their lives and the choices they have made but feel they have no other option, because of money. I have heard too many stories of people who wish their life was different but feel they cannot change it, because of money. How many mother's claim they desperately want to be home with their children but can't, because of money?
On our limited income, Tim and I have had to do without a lot of things. Our children do not have all that their friends have because we cannot afford it all. I think, though, of all the people I know who struggle with too little money, Tim and I have had to sacrifice the least in life. We have not sacrificed time with our family. We have not sacrificed raising our children the way we think is right. We have not sacrificed our sense of peace because of money. And through it all God has provided.
Living within our means is getting harder. With five children, mounting medical bills, and a house that seems to be falling apart around us some days, a little more money would come in very handy. I do find myself wondering lately how God is going to rise to the challenge to provide for us now, yet He never lets us down. He provides for all that we need to live physically. And even more importantly, He provides us with peace and comfort if we just trust in Him and do what he has called us to do by putting our family first. I hope and pray that others, who are in a similar financial state, can learn to worry less, trust more, and follow God's plan even if it doesn't pay well.
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