Kids say the darndest things.....

I was helping out at church for a few hours in early May.  It was First Communion and the DRE asked me to help out in the nursery.  I gladly agreed.  I was gone for only 2 ½ hours and my children were home with Tim the whole time.  When I returned, I spent the rest of the day with my family.  I took my youngest with me to run a few errands, I played a few games with her (she’s very into Old Maid and Go Fish these days), then I let her help me with dinner preparations.

After prayers that night, about 7 hours after my return from my babysitting stint at church, my little one snuggled up close to me and said, “Mommy I still miss you from when you were gone this morning.”

My three middle children and I learned all about American History this year.  We ended the year discussing slavery and the civil war.  In our studies, we read about the Dred Scott case.  I took the opportunity to pointed out that, in many ways, the supreme court decision that Scott was not truly a person but only the property of his master and therefore had no right to file a case let alone to be given the freedom he was seeking, mirrored the current view of unborn babies.  I explained how the issue of abortion is so similar to that of slavery and that the same justifications are offered- “it is not really a person we are referring to…..”  (Thankfully, our book went on to share more positive stories from that time in history too- teaching about the works of Harriet Beecher Stowe, Harriet Tubman, Fredrick Douglass, and other abolitionists.)

A few days after our history lesson on Dred Scott, my nine year old son looked up out of the blue and said (as if he’d just stumbled upon a really great idea), “You know what?  People should fight to end abortion, like they did to end slavery.”  

I should note--  My nine year old son has participated with us in the 40 days for Life campaign just about every year since he was 3, he goes along with me to drop his sister off to volunteer at the local crisis pregnancy center every week, he watched me write, and then spend the last two years promoting, my pro-life stories (check them out here and here).   I assured him there ARE people fighting to end abortion.....

**This post may contain affiliate links.**

My kids are W-A-Y behind....

            I write a lot about how my children are growing up so fast.  How the years fly by and I want so much to slow things down a little and keep my children young as long as possible.  So it is not surprising that I have been thinking about growing children and the pace of maturing and the world we live in.  

            My children’s childhoods DO feel as though they are passing by at an alarming rate and I DO wish it could all be slowed to a pace more akin to a snail’s than a cheetah’s, but in comparison to the world we live in…my children are actually w-a-y behind their peers.  We live in a world where it is encouraged for children to grow up REALLY, REALLY FAST.  Seven year olds with cell phones?  Toddlers dressed like mini-adults?  First graders with boyfriends or girlfriends?  Ten year olds watching shows for/about teenagers?  And where did the whole concept of the “tween” years come from?!?!?!?!?  A nine or ten year old is NOT a teenager and is not ready for teenage things.

I am always sad when I see little girls dressed in tight fitting shirts with short shorts, or young children with their faces in their electronic devices at the park, or television shows and video games that glorify teenage angst and disrespect and violence marketed to kids (or marketed to anyone else for that matter).  

My children are innocent, ignorant, and youthful compared to most kids their ages.  They have no cell phones or laptops or I-pads (not even my 14 ½ year old).  They are not permitted to watch television or play most video games.  Those that they do play are very closely monitored and supervised.  My children dress like children, they play with play-doh together and read picture books together (well not so much the 14 year old and 11 year old anymore...), but they do all still ask for permission to do things like play outside in the front yard, make a phone call (on the home phone) to a friend, watch a movie from our collection of parent-approved DVD’s, even get a snack in the afternoon, etc….  And even though my kids have healthy restrictions in life and must respect the rules Tim and I have laid down for them- they are not unhappy.  They are not angry or frustrated.  They don't feel like they are missing out.  They are too busy enjoying their childhoods to worry about what they might be missing.

I don’t want my kids to grow up too fast.  And it is not because I selfishly love that sweet baby stage when my little ones light up at the mere sight of me and still believe I am right about everything and still trust in me completely (though, of course, I do love that stage).  It is not because the thought of my babies growing up and leaving my home and going off into the big, bad world all on their own both terrifies and pains me to the point of tears (though if I think about it all too much, it does).  It is not because I still remember that moment when I first looked into each of their newborn eyes and vowed I would cherish every moment with them, while the reality is I am often too busy and distracted to cherish every moment and to remember to be grateful for every day.   I don’t want to someday look back and realize I’ve missed my chance to be the perfect mother because my children are all grown and now it is too late.  But that is not why I want my children to grow up slowly.

No, I want my children to be allowed a nice long childhood because it is such a fleeting time.  Adulthood lasts a long time (God willing) and once their innocence is gone our children can never have it back.  I want to allow my kids to enjoy the gift that their childhood is.  I want them to be able to play and live and grow (at their own pace) without the pressure of dealing with adult issues and grown-up concepts before they are ready.  

What's more-- I want my children to believe in a world where families are still important and adults are respectable and responsible.  I want them to live in a world where the Bible means something and Our Church provides our moral compass, where things like respect and obedience and humility and all virtues are seen as good and important.  As long as they are young, as long as they live under my roof, as long as they are not always striving to be more mature than they really are- I can allow my children the opportunity to enjoy these gifts.

Someday they will know about all the evils of this world that, right now, I want to shield them from forever.  Someday, I'm sure, they will be attached to smart phones and aware of worldly attitudes and twisted belief systems based on relativism and selfishness.  

I know I cannot shelter my children forever.  I know it would be wrong to even try, but I pray they will be allowed the opportunity to grow up and mature s-l-o-w-l-y, in their own time, not in our culture’s timetable of life at warp speed ready to push ahead and skip the simple innocent days of youth.  

Passing on pain....

            Migraine headaches run in my family.  My aunt gets them.  Her brother, my uncle gets them (her other brother, my dad, has been spared).  My mom gets them.  My sister gets them.  And I get them.  

      I have suffered from headaches for as long as I can remember.  Mine usually come in clusters.  I will get one and then for a week or two afterwards, I will continue to get them at fairly regular intervals.  But then, I can go months without one.  

       For the past week, I have had one headache after another. Even between headaches, I could feel one sort of lingering – ready to hit full force.    My migraines come accompanied with nausea and sometimes that is more bothersome than the actual pain.  I have found that if I sit very still with a cool damp washcloth over my eyes the worst of the headache will usually pass without medication though.  Overall, it is manageable for me.  And I realize there could be much worse afflictions.....

           Sadly though, my son gets them too.  As bad as mine are, his upset and bother me more.  There is nothing worse than watching your children suffer.  I usually try to treat his with Tylenol as soon as he starts complaining because I hate to let it get too bad for him.  But he is a trooper and he tries to tough it out without medication most of the time.    

      There are just some genes you wish you could avoid passing on---the gene for prematurely gray hair, the gene for puffy bags under the eyes, and especially the gene for migraine headaches.  Unfortunately, we don't get to choose and like the gray hair and bags under my eyes that I inherited from my parents, the legacy of migraines has continued to another generation.....   :-(

What IS this country coming to?

This is so scary!!!!!  

http://www.wnd.com/2013/02/surprise-investigations-aimed-at-homeschoolers/

We, as parents, need to be informed.  We need to do all that we can to stand up for our rights.  We need to protect our children and our families from evil agendas that aim at breaking down our authority in our own homes.  

And above all, we need to pray!

My new "job"

When I put in my two week notice back in late December, quitting my job of three months, I made a decision to devote more time to writing.  If ever I had to work outside the home, writing would be my dream job.  Getting paid to put words to paper- either in fictional stories or informative articles or descriptive accounts of real life events- it all sounds like fun to me.   Even though, no one is paying me, I have decided to try to approach my writing almost as though it IS a job--  My new job, where I am employer and employee both.  And I must be self-motivated and self-disciplined to have any chance of success.  

My hope is to spend at least an hour a day writing.  Late in the afternoon, after all the schoolwork is finished and the kids want nothing more than a little downtime spent playing all on their own, I can certainly find the time to play around with my fiction ideas or write the blog posts I had so little time for through the Advent and Christmas seasons.

I have been finished with my out-of-the-house job for more than a week now- and well…..  my intentions have been great but my follow-through has been not quite perfect.  The whole family (except me and my oldest daughter) have spent the last week taking turns with the flu.  It has gone from one family member to the next with not even one day of full health in the last 9 days!  As soon as I thought we were out of the woods and no one else would get it, another victim would fall prey to the high fevers, runny noses, and scratchy throats.  Between taking lots of temperatures and getting lots of cool rags for burning little heads, writing has not been forefront in my mind.

I guess this week has been proof that this is the perfect new "job" for me-- it will never get in the way of my family and I will never get in trouble when life comes before work.  Still, I hope next week will be quieter louder and healthier around here and that I will be able to settle into a routine of regular writing.  Maybe I'll even get to finish the story that has been in my mind for a few weeks but up to now, has only had a few paragraphs actually written down.  

Even now there is so much more I’d love to write about…but my latest patient is still burning up and in need of his mommy……

Oh-- Just one more quick thing before I go check on my sick little boy though--- tomorrow begins the free e-book promotional offer of my novel The Life I Dreamed...check it out here!

A new project for the New Year!

As I continue to discern what direction (if any) this blog may go in in the future, I am setting off on a new blogging adventure.  This time with two of my children!  

Check it out here!

Not "just a mom"?

            It all started back around Labor Day.   First, in the bulletin from Church there was something about how our work is sacred.  It said that that we, as Catholics, believe our work is how we serve our Lord and how we find purpose in our days.  The time we spend at work is valuable and meaningful and our work allows us opportunities to use the gifts God blesses us with.  After reading that bulletin, it seemed the message was everywhere—in conversations with friends, in songs on the radio, in homilies even weeks later.  

            Now I know the work I do within my home counts.  I know that caring for my children and keeping up with the housework and supporting Tim is sacred work.  I know, without a doubt, it is important and meaningful.  But all that talk about work might have been more than just a reminder that what I do for my family matters.  

            I don’t know if God was sending me a message or if He was preparing me for what He knew was coming........ because I find myself, after 14 years at home with my children, re-entering the working world- just a little.  

After all those messages of work being sacred, Tim and I talked and talked and talked about me going back to work.  It had been so long since I worked outside of the home and, really, until recently I had not even thought about it.  I have always been quite content raising my children, caring for my home, being “just a mom”.  But as we talked, Tim and I decided together that maybe it was time for me to take on a part-time job.  Nothing too strenuous, nothing that would take me away for long periods of time, nothing that would interfere with home schooling or with our family time but something that might bring in a little money and allow me the chance to take on a little more work.  

I had mixed emotions as I contemplated the idea of being employed once again.  I felt worried, guilty, excited, and nervous all at once.  I have never felt any desire to be a career woman.  I have never felt I needed a job outside the home to validate me.  I have never wanted anything to come before my family.  Yet, here I was deciding to go back to work while my kids are still at home and need me.  And, strangely enough, I felt it was the right thing to do- what God was calling me to and though I was nervous, I really was also excited about it.  

I found a job quite easily.  I began last week and am happy to report that it really is the perfect fit for what I was looking for.  I work only in the evenings and on weekends, when Tim is home with the children.  My hours are minimal—just a few shifts here and there, not more than 10-15 hours a week.   The job will not interfere with home schooling.  It will not take me away much and it is only a few minutes from home.  Tim and the kids are supportive and at peace with the situation.  The work is enjoyable and gives me a chance to work with and meet new people.  

So, though it still sounds strange to me- I guess I am a working mother now.  But really, I still feel like “just a mom”.