Friday, March 20, 2009

Serving myself

I have been praying for humility lately. There are many virtues I need to grow in but I feel this is the one I really need to focus on right now. I figure that more humility in my life would minimize all my other struggles, at least a little. My prayer has been that God will help me to look for occasions to build others up instead of using others to build myself up. This is a very personal prayer for me and a very personal struggle. I feel I am living my life focused more on gaining the approval of others than on serving God. I am afraid I have always focused more on approval than service. Lately the Holy Spirit has been revealing to me my need for greater humility.
My path to humility has been a rocky one to say the least. I decided Lent would be the perfect opportunity to give up a little of my self-absorption. In an attempt to be more positive right from the start, my Lenten promise was to be more encouraging. I did great for a few hours on Ash Wednesday. That afternoon things sort of feel apart and I gave up the encouraging words for the comfort of my old sinful ways. The next day I was determined to do better, and I did. In fact, that first week I had quite a few days of positive, considerate encouragement for my friends and family. Unfortunately since then, I have again slipped into my old habits of thinking first of myself and my needs, and then, if I have time, about the things I can do for others.
God has been trying to help. The opportunities for greater humility abound! I just inevitably avoid them as much as I can. Humility just feels so humbling. I prefer the feeling of being exalted. Hasn't that been my problem all along?

Oh, God please strengthen me. Show me how to be humble and meek, and help me to embrace the gift that it is to let others shine. Please in Your absolute mercy and compassion; help me to rise above my feelings and to imitate Christ in His love toward others.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, I can totally relate. Thanks for this post and see I need to open my eyes and revisit this in my life as well. God Bless.

    Litany of Humility
    O Jesus meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
    From the desire of being esteemed,
    From the desire of being loved,
    From the desire of being extolled,
    From the desire of being honored,
    From the desire of being praised,
    From the desire of being preferred to others,
    From the desire of being consulted,
    From the desire of being approved,
    Deliver me, Jesus.

    From the fear of being humiliated,
    From the fear of being despised,
    From the fear of suffering rebukes,
    From the fear of being calumniated,
    From the fear of being forgotten,
    From the fear of being ridiculed,
    From the fear of being wronged,
    From the fear of being suspected,
    Deliver me, Jesus.

    That others may be loved more than I,
    That others may be esteemed more than I,
    That in the opinion of the world, others may increase, and I may decrease,
    That others may be chosen and I set aside,
    That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
    That others may be preferred to me in everything,
    That others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should,
    Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. Amen.

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  2. Thank you sharing the beautiful prayer. I have decided that for the remainder of Lent I will start and end my day with it. It is just what I needed!

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