“God is all present, that means He is everywhere, all the time. He is right here with us even now.” We were talking about catechism lessons with some friends this morning. We discussed that God is eternal and that He is all good, and then we discussed that He is always present.
I believe all these things. I believe in God’s goodness-- His love, His power, and yes, His constant presence in my life. I believe these things and always have, even from childhood. But, I believe them mostly in my mind. Intellectually, I know these things to be true. I believe in my Church and I believe in the theology I have been taught.
My mind is aware of, and fully accepts, the truths of my faith.
My heart... sometimes doubts.
So, as we talked this morning about God being present, right there next to us, I knew it was true. In my mind there was no doubt. But this week has had its challenges- a lack of motivation when it comes to school work, a few sleepless nights, a painful migraine headache, the daily struggle to be patient and selfless. Just an ordinary week with ordinary challenges, but so often it is the little things that wear me out and fill my heart with questioning.
Even as my mind believes and insists that God is present, my heart sometimes screams out- “God I know you are here but where? I know you are near but I don’t see you working in my life, I don’t feel you here next to me.”
It is amazing how often, while teaching my children, I end up learning, or re-learning, so much myself. God spoke to me this morning- through my children’s catechism lesson. He reminded me of His love and His presence when He knew I most needed the reminder.
It is true that we do not always feel God nearby. It is true we do not always see Him at work. The greatest of saints struggled to see and feel Him at times too. But it is just as true that God is here, and He is all good, and He is helping us through the struggles--big ones and little ones too.