What I am giving for Lent....

Lent starts tomorrow. If I did not realize how very much I need this time of penitence and sacrifice I would be completely dreading it. I do not really like to give things up. I do not really like to do without. And as I think about what to do for Lent this year, there are so many things I really think I should give up. I have way too many "vices" and distractions in my life.
Instead of just choosing some thing (preferably something easy to live without) and giving it up, I have tried to really think about what God would want from me. Then, it came to me that instead of just giving up, I think God is calling me to give. Instead of just giving up chocolate, God wants me to give Him my hunger (which is, many of the times I desire chocolate, more of a spiritual hunger and a longing for comfort than a physical hunger anyway). Instead of just giving up Facebook, God wants me to give my family more time and attention (which would meet my need to connect with others so much better than sitting in front of my computer does anyway). Instead of just giving up complaining, God wants me to give joy and smiles to those around me (which, of course, would make me feel much happier than complaining all the time does anyway)!
So, though I will probably never enjoy sacrifice and suffering, I am actually looking forward to my Lent this year. I suspect I will get so much more than I will be giving up, and I hope that those around me will benefit as well. I pray that God will help me rise to the challenge of giving, so that I may receive all the blessings He has awaiting me at Easter.

What do nuns know about REAL life?

Way back in June of last year my son turned on the TV to watch a baseball game. He was quite disappointed to find there was nothing but fuzz on the screen. The television world had officially made the “switch to digital” and we, having made the decision not to participate in the switch, were now locked out, so to speak. Despite my son's initial disappointment about the ball game, we haven't missed the TV in the last 8 months. We really didn't watch it much anyway.
Last week, for the first time since the switch, I heard about a show I really wished I could watch though. The Oprah Winfrey show was going to visit the convent of the Dominican Sisters of Mary in Michigan to see what life was like for the sisters there and to interview them on her show. One of the young postulants had been a volunteer for Tim's youth group last year and I was curious to see where she was now and how her life might be going. Unfortunately without a digital TV, I was unable to tune in. Many of my friends were talking about the show and about how our young friend looked and I was sad to have missed it. Thankfully, a friend posted a link to youtube videos of the show on her facebook page and, this morning, I was able to view a good portion of the show.
What a blessing it was to see all those beautiful young women sharing their life and their experiences with the world. I was so impressed! I could truly see an amazing depth of peace and joy in each of their faces. Their love of Christ was so obvious in their honest, open answers to all the questions Oprah had. They could not have been a more beautiful representation of the religious life.
I was also struck by how misinformed the world is about serving God. The questions were primarily about everything the women had "given up". The interviewer seemed to have a hard time understanding how these young women could do without sex, shopping trips, and make-up. She asked how they felt about not having tweezers to pluck their eyebrows, and about there being no mirrors in their rooms. It really disheartened me to see the blatant misunderstanding of living a life dedicated to service, prayer, and a desire for holiness.
We are all called to serve God. It is only by answering God’s call in our own lives that any of us will know the peace and joy the sisters have. Oprah and her "people" clearly did not get this. Religious sisters are not the only people living out a vocation. I can see, in my own life, that God has called me to a vocation. My vocation is in no way less than that of the Dominican Sisters of Mary. I, too, am called to serve God. Not by living in a religious community but by living in the community of my family. I, too, am to be holy, chaste, and prayerful. "Giving up" selfish desires and worldly temptations is not just for nuns, but for all of us. Knowing God, loving God, and serving God is the call and purpose of every life. Seeing the sisters helped me to appreciate, not only the role they are playing in building up the kingdom of Christ, but also my own role and my own vocation. I hope and pray that all who watched Oprah's peek into religious life were just as moved by the holiness and dedication of the Dominican Sisters and that they too, are inspired to answer God's call in their own lives.

Best Friends Forever

When I was five years old I had my first best friend. She was my age and lived a few doors down from me in my neighborhood. We were in the same kindergarten class and rode the bus to school together every day. I remember having my first ever sleep over at her house. I felt so far from home, though if I looked out the window at the right angle I probably could have seen my house. We moved away after only a few short years and it has been almost 30 years since I was five, but my friend and I have kept in touch over the years, exchanging Christmas cards and trying to keep up with each other's lives.
Once in a while history repeats itself. When my oldest daughter was four and a half years old she found her first best friend. They were in the same pre-school class and the two of them were like two peas in a pod. They enjoyed playing dress up and baby dolls together. It was so cute to see my daughter with her little buddy and as it turned out, her mom and I got along very well too. The girls were inseparable in school and we tried to get them together for play dates whenever possible. I enjoyed the play dates, sitting and talking to my new found friend, as much as my daughter did. And so, we were both devastated when we found out they were moving to Chicago in the middle of the school year. It just didn't seem fair and after they left, pre-school was not quite the same for my daughter. She spent the rest of the year playing blocks with the boys in the class, missing her very best friend.
Now, Chicago is very far away from Clearwater, FL and the girls were both so very young when they parted ways. Though we talked before they moved about keeping in touch and having the girls "write" to each other, it didn't seem likely they would stay close for very long. Thankfully, I, too, wanted to stay in contact and they had family right near us. Still, we were lucky to even have an opportunity to get the girls together for once-a-year play dates when they were in town visiting their family. The girls did exchange occasional letters, which consisted of little crayon drawings at first because neither little girl could read or write. So we did our best, and somehow we did keep the friendship intact.
After four years we received the most amazing news. Our wonderful friends were moving back to Florida! They were going to be living in Orlando, about and hour and a half away, but compared to Chicago it seemed like next door! My daughter was nearing her ninth birthday when they settled back in the Sunshine state, an awful lot of years had passed with only minimal contact. I wondered, would the girls really have much in common any more? I needn't have worried one bit. The girls, now both eleven years old, are still like two peas in a pod! They even enjoy playing dress up together; now they put on elaborate fashion shows, complete with commentary. They are as close as ever and it is still so cute to see them together. This past weekend they were lucky enough to spend the entire weekend together. They talked on the phone every night last week chatting, giggling, and planning their big weekend. The weekend turned out as good as they hoped. They spent the night together two nights in a row, went to Universal studios together, and made themselves matching dresses. The joy in my daughter's voice as she called me from Orlando to check in and tell me about all their fun was such a blessing to me. I am so grateful that my daughter has a life-long friend and that our families are able to share a wonderful friendship too. I thank God for the beautiful friends He has brought into our lives and pray that they know how much we care for them and what a blessing they truly are to us.

Mortified!

The Catholic Church has a rich tradition, and a long and colorful history. It also has an extensive vocabulary of unique and interesting words. Words such as catechesis, pontifical, vocation, and purgatory, may not be copyrighted or trademarked by the Church, but they are certainly more likely to show up in a papal encyclical than a People magazine. In my free time I have, personally, been pondering my own understanding of Catholic vocabulary. I have been, specifically, giving a lot of thought to the term "mortification". It is, in my experience, one of those "Catholic words" that though I probably heard it growing up, I am just beginning to try to understand.
In my quest to better grasp the idea of mortification I started with the dictionary. When looking it up I found two definitions. The first definition stated plainly, "the practice of asceticism by penitential discipline to overcome desire for sin and to strengthen the will". That wasn't quite plain enough for me. The second definition, "discipline of the body and the appetites by self-denial or self-inflicted privation," was slightly easier to comprehend without an advanced degree in theology. After a little thought I came up with my own definition. To me, mortification means to deny myself some sort of worldly comfort or worldly desire in an effort to grow in virtue and holiness. Fasting is one example of mortification.
I love the idea of growing in virtue and holiness. I am not quite so fond of the idea of self deprivation. I like my worldly comforts and wish I could surround myself with all that makes me feel good and still be holy and virtuous. I have tried to achieve true holiness without giving up a single comfort but it hasn't worked. Unfortunately, the more I try to ensure my own comfort the farther I seem to fall from holiness. I am just too busy trying to keep up with my worldly distractions to ever get around to being virtuous. So, at least in my experience, the Church is right about mortification. I do need some sort of ... "penitential discipline to overcome the desire for sin and to strengthen the will." If I can undertake a little mortification, a little self imposed suffering and sacrifice, maybe I can be strengthened to avoid sinfulness and to be open to God's will. If I can get used to doing without all that I want maybe there will be more room in my life for God to work. If I am more accustom to living without some comforts maybe I can be more at peace when things in life do not go the way I want and maybe, just maybe, I can start to handle life's challenges with more holiness.
I am starting small. I will try to offer up just one little sacrifice each day. Through God's grace and my modest efforts, I am hoping to be truly mortified!

An early morning appointment with God

When we first got married Tim predicted that, though at the time, I dreaded dragging myself out of bed at even 9 am, I would one day be a morning person. He was sure that once we had children I would start to rise earlier and even look forward to the mornings when I might steal a few minutes of peace before the kids got up. This, apparently, was what his mother did when he and his four siblings were little and he thought it must be a sort of universal mom thing. I wasn't so sure.
Fortunately for me, our first child was a night owl, like Tim and I, and would sleep until 10 am most mornings, even as a baby. I remember reminding Tim of his prediction and pointing out that it had yet to be fulfilled. In fact, even after our first four children were born, I would burrow under the covers, when morning came, trying to steal a few extra minutes of blessed sleep. Of course, I was not sleeping until 10 am anymore but anything earlier than 8:30 still felt like the middle of the night to me. For the most part, our four children all agreed. Then along came our beautiful fifth child. She certainly looks like she belongs to the family, with her big beautiful eyes and her long (yet very chubby) legs. Her sleep patterns, however, could definitely not have been inherited from me! Here, finally, is Tim's morning person! She awakens, most days, when it is still pitch black outside my window and is ready to start the day by 6 am, if not earlier.
I am desperately hoping she will outgrow this very bad habit quickly! Yet, despite my sincere hope that this is short lived, I am actually starting to appreciate my mother-in-law's wisdom. I have come to discover that there is an amazing peace in the quiet, dark early morning hours. I am now starting my days with prayer as I nurse the baby in virtual silence. I am able to truly reflect on the upcoming day and to even listen for God's quiet voice in the stillness of the new dawn. I can watch from my window as the sun lights up the morning sky and see a special beauty as day breaks and the world comes awake. I feel a little closer to God as I rise to this time of peace and prayer than I did when my day started with the chaos of four children clamoring for breakfast and fighting over who gets to look at the back of the cereal box. I am filled with gratitude for my life and my family as I sit quietly nursing and snuggling my baby instead of being filled with resentment that I must greet a day already filled with bickering and screeching. It seems, these days, this is the only peace and tranquility I have and so, though I still sort of wish it could come at noon, I am savoring every minute of it. Because, deep, deep down, I am hoping that any day now baby will start to sleep till the more reasonable hour of 10 am!

One in a million

I have been "blogging" for over a year now. I recently spent a little time playing around on the computer and looking at other people's blogs. I discovered pretty quickly that blogs are a dime a dozen. There are millions of them out there, on every topic imaginable. My own blog, in fact is possibly one of the least original out there. If you "googled" blogs by Catholic moms you get 1,460,000 matches. A search for blogs by homeschooling moms will yield 40,500,000 matches. Even blogs entitiled "Overflow" will result in over 5,800,000 matches! I have seen other "little" blogs written by moms just like me with upwards of 400 followers. My blog currently has ten, one of which is my husband. So really, why bother? Do I really have anything unique, original or meaningful to add to the cyberworld in my humble little blog?
Probably not, yet I plan to continue blogging for years to come. Though my words may not be profound, my experiences unique, or my discoveries earth shattering, I really enjoy writing my blog. I enjoy it for many reasons. First of all, I love to write. I've always loved to write. For many years, I was so busy raising my children, taking care of my house, and trying to be a good wife that I did not take the time to indulge my passion for writing. I missed it. Having my blog gives me an outlet and a sort of accountability to write (even if I am accountable only to my ten loyal followers). Second of all, my blog helps me to chronicle the everyday life of caring for my family. My children are growing up way too quickly and the years seem to fly by. If I do not take the time to write about the funny things that happen, the emotions I go through, the chaos of life with all five kids under the age of 12, I am sure I will never remember it all later. Third of all, my blog is a wonderful way to process all of my thoughts, feelings and experiences. It gives me a perspective that I would not otherwise have in the midst of the craziness that is my daily life. So, whether my followers grow to 400 over the years, or drop to only one (I hope Tim will continue to read even if no one else does!) I am grateful for this outlet, and especially for the opportunity to share my life and God's amazing gifts and blessings in it, with anyone who He might send this way. Thank you for reading and I hope God blesses you through these words and the time you have spent in my little corner of cyberspace.

Anybody want a free boat?

My youngest son is such a happy child. He is easy going and imaginative and loves to talk. Lately his favorite subject is what he is going to be when he grows up. Apparently it is very normal for children his age to ponder their future. I was listening to the radio the other morning and they were discussing a survey of children my son's age concerning their upcoming career choices. The most common answer among five year olds to the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was, "Spiderman", according to the radio announcers.
Though it comes as no surprise to me, my son is a little different than his peers when it comes to his aspirations for adulthood. He has informed me he is going to be a boat seller when he grows up. Where he came up with such a unique career choice is beyond me. We do live in Florida and are completely surrounded by beautiful water, being close to both Tampa Bay and the Gulf of Mexico. We see boats all the time but we do not own a boat, we do not have friends with boats, nor have we ever set foot in a marine store of any sort. In fact, my son has only been on a boat twice in his life. Once when he was only a year and a half old, and more recently on my brother's boat on the pond in his backyard. My son does not remember the first boat trip and was terrified the second time. Of course, the whole time we were in my brother's tiny old dinghy there was an alligator only 15 ft away watching us very closely. Nevertheless, my son is convinced he wants to sell boats when he grows up. He has it all worked out. He will sell big boats and small ones. He, himself, will have a pirate ship and he will give me a free boat too. After I receive my free boat he will come over to my house for dinner and he will give me either 2 or 8 lifejackets, for use on the boat. His sister, much to her disappointment, will have to buy her boat, at the greatly discounted price of only $1. Ironically he has offered free boats to more than one complete stranger upon making their acquaintance even though his only encounter with them has been in line at the grocery store or sitting near them at a friend's birthday party.
I recently discussed the concept of vocations and God's calling for their lives with all of my children. This only further cemented the idea of boat selling in the mind of my youngest son. He promptly declared that God would want him to sell boats with prayers in them, and that his personal pirate ship would have two prayers in it!
I'm not sure my lovable little guy will ever be successful in the boat selling business. After all, you can't expect to earn much profit giving away free boats to every nice person at the grocery store. But, thankfully, I have no doubt with his kind heart, his generosity, and his amazing imagination my son will serve God well in whatever he attempts in life, and isn't that what God calls each of us to do?