We recently had a family picture taken. It had been about three years since our last professional family picture and it definitely needed updating. Trying to get everyone sitting still, looking at the camera and hopefully even smiling can be quite a chore. It is not always fun posing for family pictures, but they are well worth the effort. The truth is, it may be prideful, but I really love looking at pictures of my family.
I enjoy the candid snapshots we take on our own as much as the professional portraits. I love the shots of us at the beach, or on vacation, or taking a nice little walk in the woods. What a beautiful photograph we make. I love the images of the six of us together, smiling and having fun. In our pictures, my life looks just like I always imagined it would be. We look like such a happy, loving family. I appear to be a wonderful, patient mother. The kids look so cute, so happy, so well behaved. Tim looks relaxed and content. How different real life is from our pictures! The camera shows no sibling rivalry. My unending anxiety seems to be absent. And there isn't one photo of Tim and I fighting about extended family, or house work, or who is going to bathe the kids. Now, of course, no one would actually pull a camera out in the midst of the difficult moments of life but our life seems so close to perfect in the family scrapbooks.
Lately, I have been enjoying the time I spend working on my blog too. It is another opportunity to put our best foot forward. As I look back and read my earlier entries, however, I feel a little dishonest. I fear I have given in a bit to my pride. Though our family is very blessed, we are not as holy (or as perfect) as I would like to portray us. Despite what I may want to believe, I have a lot of room for improvement. In truth, I am often not the wonderful, patient mother I strive to be. I am very often not the supportive, cheerful, subservient wife I wish I was. Of course, I love my children and my husband, and I am devoted to caring for them the best I can- but there are a lot of days when the best I can muster is really pretty pathetic.
So, for any of you reading this who are at all impressed with our unpretentious little family, and especially for myself, in the event I will want to re-read this at some point and believe I am almost perfect, I must confess I am a fraud! I can hardly spell the word perfection, much less live it. I may continue to want to believe that we are a perfect family as I gaze at our pictures but, it is really only by the grace of God that our lives are filled with so much that is right and good. And I ought to be continually thankful that God is patient enough to keep working in my life and allowing me, on occasion, to be an instrument of even a modest amount of accomplishment.
I'm sure God wants me to realize that what I see in the pictures, though it is NOT perfection, is as real and true as the sibling rivalry, the worries, and the inevitable disagreements that pop up from time to time in family life. I should not try so hard to be perfect, or to believe I am perfect, when what I most need to be is grateful! Our life is filled with joy and love but also with struggles, regrets and mistakes. Yet despite it all, God's love for us remains, always- perfect. |
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